Internet Video Game / Movie Reviewers that Suck.....Read on!
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:45 pm
A wise and handsome gentleman just typed this gem to me in a PM.....
Please, PLEASE do 5 minutes of GOD DAM research before you start subjecting the rest of the internet world to your horrid review videos. Now, I'm not talking about Little Billy's or Todd the Arcade enthusiast reviews. I'm talking about the headliners.....The people that are popular for reasons I cannot understand. Most of these imbeciles that I will be listing have the emotional age of a 10 year old and do not warrant the amount of reviewers that they have. NONE, of them talk about REAL issues on their shows NOR do they talk about interesting subjects.
Their mindless formula goes as follows:
1. Pick a movie or video game from the 80's to 90's decade
2. Find the slightest flaws in them, blow it out of proportion, and continuously harp on the small insignificant errors until the times up.
3. Use a 4th grade comedy style that employs jokes about body functions, profanity, and slap stick that only a toddler would find humorous.
4. WASH, RINSE, REPEAT
LIST OF HATED
Angry Video Game Nerd = IT GOT OLD, IT'S PLAYED OUT, STOP CURSING, GROW THE FUCK UP. NO ONE CARES! YOUR BAD AT VIDEO GAMES. DONATE THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN PLAY THEM PROPERLY!!!
ThatGuyWithGlasses = YOUR FAKE SMILE IS IMMATURE, YOUR RIDICULOUS SKITS CAN BE RECREATED AT LUNCH TIME IN A GRADE SCHOOL. GET A LIFE
Spoony = YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A IRRATIC OVER EMOTIONAL WHORE and YOUR A COMPLETE AND UTTER WASTE OF OXYGEN. DO US ALL A FAVOR AND THROW YOURSELF OFF A BRIDGE INTO A VERY DEEP BODY OF WATER SO THAT AT LEAST YOUR REMAINS WILL BE USED BY THE OCEAN ECOSYSTEM.
MekaKitty = What are you? 2 years old? No one cares that your a model....no one cares that you edit your video to show all the funny little squeek sounds you can make. You have no substance and you never discuss anything relevant......EVER......go back to standing still and getting photo's taken of you....
Nostalgic Chick / Dudette = YOUR CONDECENDING PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL ARROGANT MANNER CAN'T CONCEAL YOUR FUTURE UNEMPLOYMENT.YOUR WASTING YOUR PARENT'S MONEY GOING TO FILM SCHOOL, GET A REAL JOB, GROW UP, STOP MAKING "RAPE" JOKES BECAUSE AS AN ADULT HUMAN THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE and INCONSIDERATE TO OTHERS!
And now I will begin by saying I can't STAND these absolutely useless people on Youtube, BlipTV, or any other internet video medium because they all suck at either playing the games they are reviewing (AVGN) or understanding the movie they are watching....On a last note, I see I'm not alone in the 'the reviewers suck' category. Think about this, what makes these guys 'Video Game Gurus?' What do they know other than the spec sheet given to then to talk about the system? Have they ever actually researched anything, taken a system apart, code a game...? When someone says they gave up getting laid over a game, that's a twisted guy who's opinion is just as skewed as his priorities...can't trust that guy!
Please, PLEASE do 5 minutes of GOD DAM research before you start subjecting the rest of the internet world to your horrid review videos. Now, I'm not talking about Little Billy's or Todd the Arcade enthusiast reviews. I'm talking about the headliners.....The people that are popular for reasons I cannot understand. Most of these imbeciles that I will be listing have the emotional age of a 10 year old and do not warrant the amount of reviewers that they have. NONE, of them talk about REAL issues on their shows NOR do they talk about interesting subjects.
Their mindless formula goes as follows:
1. Pick a movie or video game from the 80's to 90's decade
2. Find the slightest flaws in them, blow it out of proportion, and continuously harp on the small insignificant errors until the times up.
3. Use a 4th grade comedy style that employs jokes about body functions, profanity, and slap stick that only a toddler would find humorous.
4. WASH, RINSE, REPEAT
LIST OF HATED
Angry Video Game Nerd = IT GOT OLD, IT'S PLAYED OUT, STOP CURSING, GROW THE FUCK UP. NO ONE CARES! YOUR BAD AT VIDEO GAMES. DONATE THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN PLAY THEM PROPERLY!!!
ThatGuyWithGlasses = YOUR FAKE SMILE IS IMMATURE, YOUR RIDICULOUS SKITS CAN BE RECREATED AT LUNCH TIME IN A GRADE SCHOOL. GET A LIFE
Spoony = YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A IRRATIC OVER EMOTIONAL WHORE and YOUR A COMPLETE AND UTTER WASTE OF OXYGEN. DO US ALL A FAVOR AND THROW YOURSELF OFF A BRIDGE INTO A VERY DEEP BODY OF WATER SO THAT AT LEAST YOUR REMAINS WILL BE USED BY THE OCEAN ECOSYSTEM.
MekaKitty = What are you? 2 years old? No one cares that your a model....no one cares that you edit your video to show all the funny little squeek sounds you can make. You have no substance and you never discuss anything relevant......EVER......go back to standing still and getting photo's taken of you....
Nostalgic Chick / Dudette = YOUR CONDECENDING PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL ARROGANT MANNER CAN'T CONCEAL YOUR FUTURE UNEMPLOYMENT.YOUR WASTING YOUR PARENT'S MONEY GOING TO FILM SCHOOL, GET A REAL JOB, GROW UP, STOP MAKING "RAPE" JOKES BECAUSE AS AN ADULT HUMAN THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE and INCONSIDERATE TO OTHERS!
